You Gotta Play In Order To Win .....Right?

Greetings and Salutations
  How is everyone? I sure hope well.. So I hope that most can indulge me on this most "single" of blogs that I have consciously done.. Usually I try and keep in mind to account for not only single people but couples as well.. I'm just needing to vent and put personal thoughts to "paper".. This installment is indeed directed at couples.. Just the left handed approach... Something that one day soon I hope to be a part of..
  So there seems to be two very distinct trains of thought when it comes to trying to meet someone meaningful in your life.. You are either of the thinking that you should do nothing and put aside what you specifically want out of life in the romance department and subscribe to the "when you least expect it-- it will happen".. The other side of the stadium is rooting for the "go forth and put yourself out there--Mr Right isn't going to knock on your door for God sake" and this takes the form of friends/family setting you up and/or on-line dating. Which is right?  I am most certainly not sure and torn within my own head where my vote would be cast..
  On the first hand-- I feel that maybe being single, finding "Mr Right", and subscribing to the "when you least expect it" routine is similar to being an alcoholic and Alcoholics Anonymous (not to make light of alcoholics or AA--just a light parallel).. So many books I have read that detail addiction and recovery end up with the same message.. At first they all reject AA--only in the end to finally agree that AA is the only model that works and if they had only realized it in the beginning that it would have saved a lot of time and bullshit-- is this "letting go" approach equivalent to the AA of dating?
  Then there is something more aligned with all the stuff I have been reading for about the last 8 months or so--put it out in the Universe and the Universe will respond or "conspire" to make it happen-- Take action steps to make it happen and it will.. How am I supposed to just sit here and "let it happen?" How am I suppose to learn all I have just to buy the "when you least expect it" routine? Does any one every think about this but me?
  There are sooo many single people in the world--all wishing they could hurry up and become miserable like most of the married people I know.. But does marriage always have to equal mostly misery and no sex?  My sincere belief is --no.. Life isn't perfect and perfection is not what I am aiming for.. I am aiming that more often not I am happy.. More often than not the person I am with enhances my life and enriches it more than my life could ever be without him and I do the same for him.. Pixie Dust Days that number more than one and less than 365 in a year..
  Why can't we have the best of both worlds--be unrealistically realistic? Why can't most couples move in the same direction in life and love each other more and more each day? Why can't we grow in the same direction vs growing apart? I want to make it all count..
  I know in my pain when I get low or sad that great things are just around the corner for me or anyone that feels as much as I do.. You can't give up.. I feel in my heart I am making my life better to have room for the man I am headed towards every day of my life.. I know there is a plan and for as impatient as my moments can be-- I don't want to rush things along.. I still have some refining to do with and about myself.. I still have lots to grow and improve upon.. Should you be single--what do you want? What do you search for? Do you pretend to not want it? Do you lay in your bed at night and dream of your other half? How are you going to get it?  Should you be married-- are you happy? How do you stay that way? What are the little things that work and make a difference? If you are not happy how can you get that way? Where did you lose it? Did you ever have it from the start? Was it a purposeful union or one of convenience?
  Someone recently told me that my adventures into online dating and putting myself out there has inspired them to "get off the bench" and get out there.. That I should look at my failures as building inner strength and knowledge.. That with ever failure I am that much closer to success.. This is what I am banking on-- How about you? What fills your thoughts when you think of someone out there for you? What side of the fence are you on? Sit on the bench and wait for something to happen or get out there and do everything you can to help destiny along? The jury is still out for me......

Tootles :)
Heather