Greetings and Salutations
So today I thought that I would share the successes of my week.. Seems like a good follow up from last week's blog.. The following thoughts of course contribute to why I believe it is advantageous to have a positive belief system.. When the good stuff hits you can enjoy it on a level of pleasure you never thought possible.. And I am not talking about moving heaven and stars.. I am talking about that little stuff that I am always speaking of.. That little stuff that always adds up and together helps reshape your world into something wonderful if you allow it to..
So what did I get right? I have kept the house more picked up.. Still a work in progress but I am acutely aware of the goal I am after.. Keep picked up so I can have my weekends to myself and do something other than clean like the step child from Cinderella.. I feel like I am on a good path with that.. Funny how the little things can trip you up.. I went though my junk drawer with paperwork that gives me nightmares every time I open it (which is often) It is something I have been putting off for quite some time and now it is done.. I reorganized my current stack of "things to do" so that it would increase the odds that it would actually get done.. So far so good.. The pile looks better and is more manageable..
I think I have found my optimal sleep number.. It is eight hours for sure and the sweet spot is eight hours and fifteen minutes.. I can't begin to tell you that the foundation to any real accomplishment (s) begin (s) with good, sound, consistent sleep.. Sleep deprivation is insidious and should be taken very seriously.. Adequate sleep is the tone that all things forward are framed by in your life.. Patience, mood, health, and overall outlook about life to name a few.. Funny thing is it is a catch twenty-two.. You really don't believe in it until you have done it enough to make it a habit and see past your doubt.. Doubt is a strong foe.. It can undermined any attempt(s) at changing (bad) behavior.. Doubt is a mirage and saboteur of real progress.. I guess it is like all other things in life.. You have to live it to believe it..
I read this weekend again Saturday and Sunday for about an hour before getting out of bed.. I have mentioned this before but it is worth mentioning again.. It's decadent.. It is such a peaceful way to start your day.. Try it and tell me what you think. . As with most new behaviors, it may take a time or two to really feel it.. Maybe you won't.. But it is such a treat.. It is a gift I would love to give you all.. Reading before you get out of bed makes it worth it to wake up early.. It is giving to yourself and reaping the reward silently as you read your favorite book.. Time is precious and when you give yourself the gift of taking time out for you, only then do you really relish it..
I started my long list of "Thanks You" notes I have been needing to send out.. It has been difficult to get into the right zone to make that happen.. It felt great to get the ones done that I have.. Still have more to go but I am further ahead then I was five notes ago.. I called one of my Mom's friends to see if she wants some of her clothes.. That has been on my list for two weeks.. It is funny.. I never hung out much with my Mom's friends before, but now that she is gone, I feel closer to her through her friends..
Today I ran out the pool table (meaning that my opponent never had an opportunity to shoot during the game).. I broke the rack and it was a b-e-a-utiful break and sank a ball.. I then proceeded to make every shot.. All the way to the eight ball.. Now I gotta tell you and those that play pool understand.. It was AMAZING.. I haven't played in something close to a year.. Months and I can leave it at that.. I have NEVER ran the table before.. Two shots including the eight ball were very difficult.. One of the two was a combo..
Why am a sharing an AWESOME pool story with you other than I am a really cheap date to be so very excited about this feat? I could see every shot before I made it.. I was in a zone.. I could feel it and I had no doubt I was going to make it.. I want you and I to figure out how to replicate this in other areas of our lives.. Imagine what you can accomplish with such clarity.. Such vision.. It was truly a remarkable feeling.. It wasn't about killin' it on the table.. It was about a personal best and how that felt.. How much in the moment I was and nothing else mattered.. I will learn how to replicate that again and again in my life in other areas.. Just as I have done with smoking.. I just did it..
This weekend has finally culminated into a beginning of a sense of accomplishment for some of the hard work I have been putting in.. It is progress from last week.. I feel progress towards some base goals that I don't feel I can or should more forward (with the others on the list) until the basic goals are a habit.. A dear friend pointed out this weekend was a very social one and she is right.. That is the place I want to delegate a fair amount of my time..
Speaking of time delegation I bought this really cool App "Eternity" for my IPOD.. I am tracking all areas of my time and where I spend it.. Commute to and from work, my blog (will have to estimate this time-- I forgot to start the timer), cooking, cleaning, talking on the phone, computer time, TV time, any catagory you chose to monitor.. You can track more than one event at a time if you are multi-tasking.. It is such a cool tool.. How can you decide where you want to spend your time more diligently if you have no idea where it goes.. Where you actually spend it, not where you imagine you spend it and how much.. I am currently reading a book (of course) "168 Hours You Have More Time Than You Think" by Laura Vanderkam and it is changing the way I see my time and how I choose to spend it..
The final act to kick off a great and stellar week is that for about a month now I have wanted to manage my time well enough to blog on Sunday and prepare lunch for the week.. Guess what-- I just did.. Have a fantastic week.. Set a goal and go after it.. Write to me about your success.. Even if you don't accomplish it, take the steps to try and tell me about how close you came.. Helpfulbee@gmail.com
Tootles :)
Heather
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Can You Spot The Parasite? Hint--Its a Negative One
Greetings and Salutations
Tonight I want to share with you my perspective of how I see having a positive belief system can share many gifts with you, especially when you need it the most.. Fun times are easy.. Bad times can suck the life out of you if you haven't already laid the ground work for how to deal with them.. I want to express how even thought I am in a very difficult and dark time in my life, my attitude is working to make a difference within me..
There are so very many things that have gone to the way side for me since the illness and death of my mother.. I have forgotten how to spell the word budget.. I have spent money somewhat cautiously but without adding up the receipts.. While at times it was a challenge, I had to remind myself that my wallet had a bottom to it.. I was, however, able to comfort myself by purchasing things that made sense.. Things that I would have or activities I would do to have positive memories to mark the passing of my mother.. Wind chimes, countless trips (eight I think) to Hyam's for plants, a new dress for the services, and unpaid time off to grieve.. Dining out and meeting friends out for drinks when ever I wanted or needed to.. I am thankful that I had the money to afford myself the luxuries that I did.. It was hard work and discipline to have it in savings and accessible in the first place.. It is now time to reel it in, recover, and replace the money that I have spent.. To prepare for future needs that will undoubtedly come up.. It will take me time, but I will get back on track..
I have gained weight.. Not enough to need new clothes but I have to tell you enough to really make me uncomfortable in my own skin.. One too many pizza's that at the time I was grateful that I was in the mood to even eat. Its funny how when you are really depressed all you can handle or want is junk food unless I guess you are one of those lucky people who never learned to eat crappy food in the first place.. I feel like I have gained the little weight I had lost before and kept it off until now.. This will change.. I can't remain like I am for long.. I am just too uncomfortable.. I know intellectually that exercise helps depression and anxiety.. And I also know that it is next to impossible to get your ass out of bed or off the couch for any thing more than the bare necessities to function and survive when you are depressed or have no inspiration.. It came to me the other day maybe one of the keys to getting exercise off the list and onto the pavement is the window of weakened depression/lack of motivation.. I keep this in mind and will be waiting in my running shoes when the mental clouds clear and they will.. I have needed to loose weight long before I lost my mother.. I will get back on track..
I strive to keep the house clean during the week so I can stop wasting away my weekends feeling obligated to clean the house because my habits during the week are lacking.. I've gotta admit my achilles heel is picking up after myself.. I have friends and a social life that I have never had before.. In the past it was all about work.. When I was on, when I was off, when I was sleeping, when I was flipping over from nights back to days and days back to nights, and if I wasn't at the bar back then I was on my couch watching TV.. My life is more than that now.. So my habits must change with it and I was hard at work about that.. I will get back on track..
I had lots of personal goals (twenty-two total to be exact) I had set for myself and was hard at work to complete for each quarter of the year.. To say these have been on the back burner is a gross understatement.. So what is the point that I wanted to share with you about how far off base I am and what that has to do with a positive attitude? That no matter how discouraged I may get for the moment, I have hope.. It grows within me everyday.. Tomorrow is a chance to get it right again and I take every chance I am given even if I am unsuccessful.. One day I will get it right and move onto the next thing on my list.. I know dark and sad days will pass and I try to be patient for them to leave me.. This too shall pass right?
I haven't given up on my dreams.. I keep my chin up even if there are tears in my eyes and still plug away at my goals.. My strides in life for the moment are just smaller than before.. I am still moving forward and I am thankful that I am able to see the sliver lining in life.. I have prepared myself well and continue to reap the rewards of my insight into myself and the world around me.. I continue to be a student of life and always thankful I keep a sunny disposition while learning.. A negative belief system robs you of hope, faith, resilience, and happiness to name a few key ingredients that I believe make a life worth having and living.. You shouldn't have to always feel happiness to believe it is just around the corner.. Finally I can see negative thinking and all that comes with it as the parasite that it is.. Can you?
Tootles :)
Heather
Tonight I want to share with you my perspective of how I see having a positive belief system can share many gifts with you, especially when you need it the most.. Fun times are easy.. Bad times can suck the life out of you if you haven't already laid the ground work for how to deal with them.. I want to express how even thought I am in a very difficult and dark time in my life, my attitude is working to make a difference within me..
There are so very many things that have gone to the way side for me since the illness and death of my mother.. I have forgotten how to spell the word budget.. I have spent money somewhat cautiously but without adding up the receipts.. While at times it was a challenge, I had to remind myself that my wallet had a bottom to it.. I was, however, able to comfort myself by purchasing things that made sense.. Things that I would have or activities I would do to have positive memories to mark the passing of my mother.. Wind chimes, countless trips (eight I think) to Hyam's for plants, a new dress for the services, and unpaid time off to grieve.. Dining out and meeting friends out for drinks when ever I wanted or needed to.. I am thankful that I had the money to afford myself the luxuries that I did.. It was hard work and discipline to have it in savings and accessible in the first place.. It is now time to reel it in, recover, and replace the money that I have spent.. To prepare for future needs that will undoubtedly come up.. It will take me time, but I will get back on track..
I have gained weight.. Not enough to need new clothes but I have to tell you enough to really make me uncomfortable in my own skin.. One too many pizza's that at the time I was grateful that I was in the mood to even eat. Its funny how when you are really depressed all you can handle or want is junk food unless I guess you are one of those lucky people who never learned to eat crappy food in the first place.. I feel like I have gained the little weight I had lost before and kept it off until now.. This will change.. I can't remain like I am for long.. I am just too uncomfortable.. I know intellectually that exercise helps depression and anxiety.. And I also know that it is next to impossible to get your ass out of bed or off the couch for any thing more than the bare necessities to function and survive when you are depressed or have no inspiration.. It came to me the other day maybe one of the keys to getting exercise off the list and onto the pavement is the window of weakened depression/lack of motivation.. I keep this in mind and will be waiting in my running shoes when the mental clouds clear and they will.. I have needed to loose weight long before I lost my mother.. I will get back on track..
I strive to keep the house clean during the week so I can stop wasting away my weekends feeling obligated to clean the house because my habits during the week are lacking.. I've gotta admit my achilles heel is picking up after myself.. I have friends and a social life that I have never had before.. In the past it was all about work.. When I was on, when I was off, when I was sleeping, when I was flipping over from nights back to days and days back to nights, and if I wasn't at the bar back then I was on my couch watching TV.. My life is more than that now.. So my habits must change with it and I was hard at work about that.. I will get back on track..
I had lots of personal goals (twenty-two total to be exact) I had set for myself and was hard at work to complete for each quarter of the year.. To say these have been on the back burner is a gross understatement.. So what is the point that I wanted to share with you about how far off base I am and what that has to do with a positive attitude? That no matter how discouraged I may get for the moment, I have hope.. It grows within me everyday.. Tomorrow is a chance to get it right again and I take every chance I am given even if I am unsuccessful.. One day I will get it right and move onto the next thing on my list.. I know dark and sad days will pass and I try to be patient for them to leave me.. This too shall pass right?
I haven't given up on my dreams.. I keep my chin up even if there are tears in my eyes and still plug away at my goals.. My strides in life for the moment are just smaller than before.. I am still moving forward and I am thankful that I am able to see the sliver lining in life.. I have prepared myself well and continue to reap the rewards of my insight into myself and the world around me.. I continue to be a student of life and always thankful I keep a sunny disposition while learning.. A negative belief system robs you of hope, faith, resilience, and happiness to name a few key ingredients that I believe make a life worth having and living.. You shouldn't have to always feel happiness to believe it is just around the corner.. Finally I can see negative thinking and all that comes with it as the parasite that it is.. Can you?
Tootles :)
Heather
Monday, May 20, 2013
Twenty Years Worth Of Reflection
Greetings and Salutations
Well tonight as I was thinking about my blog topic I came across several.. The one that I have settled on came about by thinking about all the habits that I am trying to improve upon in my life.. Laughing at myself that I wonder how many of these (bad) habits I could attribute to the fact that I lack two things in my life: a husband and kid (s).. What would these habits have been replaced with? This then leads me, as I have often, to ponder how different my life would have been with these two (or more) factors in it.. This month would have marked my twentieth wedding anniversary if I had not divorced in October of 1996.. I was twenty-six back then and had given my marriage all that I could after three years (together total of five) and made the conscious decision that the last thing I wanted to do was proceed with a marriage that just wasn't working.. Pick up a few kids along the way and get ten years down the road and then call it quits.. I wasn't interested in starting the whole process over again somewhere in my mid thirties.. I made a mistake getting married and decided it was time to be mature enough to admit it..
I think of my friends that are happily married (or dating for that matter) without kids.. They have someone to be accountable to.. Someone that will get on them if they hit the snooze too many times, are slobs, or are too selfish etc.. Someone to have to atleast consider what they want for dinner: in or out, chicken or beef, eat at six or seven.. They have to compromise as to what to watch on TV/movie and on and on.. Sometimes I think it is a great disservice to live alone.. You have noone to call you on your habits.. No one to keep you on your toes.. No one to make you want to keep your legs and pits shaved or put on makeup and look nice for.. I think that is one of the many things in life I crave.. Someone to be accountable to.. Someone that I would want to be accountable to..
Then I think of my friends with kids (married or not).. How those children have changed their lives.. I knew most of them before they had any.. All the self sacrifice that goes into raising a well adjusted child.. How a child makes you want to set a good example.. To be accountable to them.. Someone that is relying on you for dinner on the table at a predictable time.. Someone that looks to you for the answers in life.. Someone that looks to you to hold them or kiss a boo-boo and make it better.. Someone you help prepare for life by giving them the tools they need to become the best person they can and make a real difference in the world.. Where you can't sleep in on the weekends or say "I'll do that tomorrow" when someone is counting on you to do it today.. I wonder how different my life would be if I had acquired these things in my journey..
Please don't misunderstand me.. I am not speaking in absolutes or utopia.. I am just speaking to the flip side of my life and every now and again I wonder what it would have been like if I would have made different choices.. Maybe you wonder sometimes what your life would be like if you were single instead of married with kids for most or all of it? Sometimes I wonder where I would be now if I had not done travel nursing for ten years.. Would I have been re-married by now? What kind of wife or mother would I have made? Would I have great kids or entitled selfish brats? If I had stuck it out with my ex, would we have made it? Would I have been miserable and bitter by now? Would we be on an island somewhere celebrating twenty years of overall bliss or torture?
I have a friend that invited me over for breakfast the other morning.. What a blessing that was.. Everyone at the table.. Husband, wife, daughter, son (and me).. This is always a surreal experience for me when I get opportunities like this.. I felt like a fly on the wall.. In my life I have had very few times when I was at the family dinner table.. My parents divorced when I was nine.. Just the time I was about to have something real to contribute to the dinner time conversation it was the end of my parents marriage.. I think of how fortunate my friends are that still gather around a table with their children and have family time.. It makes me smile when I know they can't appreciate it from the outside looking in and I am apart of it..
Does it actually matter if my biggest problem in life is that there is no one to answer to if I sleep in on a Saturday morning vs the "at the moment" drama of a teenager? Maybe the point is that life is a constant process.. Live in the moment of where ever you are and work with what you have.. Always strive to be the best you can be.. Keep your mind and heart open and know that no matter what, life is in a constant state of change and what you have today you can lose tomorrow and what you don't have today you could gain tomorrow.. Maybe real life is a balance of those two processes moving towards each other at the same time and managing a comfortable spot in the middle..
Tootles :)
Heather
Well tonight as I was thinking about my blog topic I came across several.. The one that I have settled on came about by thinking about all the habits that I am trying to improve upon in my life.. Laughing at myself that I wonder how many of these (bad) habits I could attribute to the fact that I lack two things in my life: a husband and kid (s).. What would these habits have been replaced with? This then leads me, as I have often, to ponder how different my life would have been with these two (or more) factors in it.. This month would have marked my twentieth wedding anniversary if I had not divorced in October of 1996.. I was twenty-six back then and had given my marriage all that I could after three years (together total of five) and made the conscious decision that the last thing I wanted to do was proceed with a marriage that just wasn't working.. Pick up a few kids along the way and get ten years down the road and then call it quits.. I wasn't interested in starting the whole process over again somewhere in my mid thirties.. I made a mistake getting married and decided it was time to be mature enough to admit it..
I think of my friends that are happily married (or dating for that matter) without kids.. They have someone to be accountable to.. Someone that will get on them if they hit the snooze too many times, are slobs, or are too selfish etc.. Someone to have to atleast consider what they want for dinner: in or out, chicken or beef, eat at six or seven.. They have to compromise as to what to watch on TV/movie and on and on.. Sometimes I think it is a great disservice to live alone.. You have noone to call you on your habits.. No one to keep you on your toes.. No one to make you want to keep your legs and pits shaved or put on makeup and look nice for.. I think that is one of the many things in life I crave.. Someone to be accountable to.. Someone that I would want to be accountable to..
Then I think of my friends with kids (married or not).. How those children have changed their lives.. I knew most of them before they had any.. All the self sacrifice that goes into raising a well adjusted child.. How a child makes you want to set a good example.. To be accountable to them.. Someone that is relying on you for dinner on the table at a predictable time.. Someone that looks to you for the answers in life.. Someone that looks to you to hold them or kiss a boo-boo and make it better.. Someone you help prepare for life by giving them the tools they need to become the best person they can and make a real difference in the world.. Where you can't sleep in on the weekends or say "I'll do that tomorrow" when someone is counting on you to do it today.. I wonder how different my life would be if I had acquired these things in my journey..
Please don't misunderstand me.. I am not speaking in absolutes or utopia.. I am just speaking to the flip side of my life and every now and again I wonder what it would have been like if I would have made different choices.. Maybe you wonder sometimes what your life would be like if you were single instead of married with kids for most or all of it? Sometimes I wonder where I would be now if I had not done travel nursing for ten years.. Would I have been re-married by now? What kind of wife or mother would I have made? Would I have great kids or entitled selfish brats? If I had stuck it out with my ex, would we have made it? Would I have been miserable and bitter by now? Would we be on an island somewhere celebrating twenty years of overall bliss or torture?
I have a friend that invited me over for breakfast the other morning.. What a blessing that was.. Everyone at the table.. Husband, wife, daughter, son (and me).. This is always a surreal experience for me when I get opportunities like this.. I felt like a fly on the wall.. In my life I have had very few times when I was at the family dinner table.. My parents divorced when I was nine.. Just the time I was about to have something real to contribute to the dinner time conversation it was the end of my parents marriage.. I think of how fortunate my friends are that still gather around a table with their children and have family time.. It makes me smile when I know they can't appreciate it from the outside looking in and I am apart of it..
Does it actually matter if my biggest problem in life is that there is no one to answer to if I sleep in on a Saturday morning vs the "at the moment" drama of a teenager? Maybe the point is that life is a constant process.. Live in the moment of where ever you are and work with what you have.. Always strive to be the best you can be.. Keep your mind and heart open and know that no matter what, life is in a constant state of change and what you have today you can lose tomorrow and what you don't have today you could gain tomorrow.. Maybe real life is a balance of those two processes moving towards each other at the same time and managing a comfortable spot in the middle..
Tootles :)
Heather
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