Rejection Is All About How You View It

Greetings and Salutations--
  Sorry about Monday coming on Tuesday but I was wacked on Benadryl and Lord only knows what I would have blogged about jacked up on that :)
  So recently I went out on yet another date (I'm getting closer) and this one was nice enough to be upfront with me and let me know he thought we would be better well suited as friends.. Now I gotta tell you there are all but a few ways to take someone telling you that information.. Either to heart and on your sleeve or like a woman.. I am a truth seeker and would much rather someone tell me outright that they just don't get me "that way".. I thought about that as I read the email he sent me a few days after a date that we had that lasted 7 hours.. Sure seemed like he had fun.. I mean for crying out loud (waahh) who the hell stays on a date that long and isn't enjoying it?? ( I don't own a gun if that is even what you are thinking LOL)  The long and short of it is although he had a great time (which he said in person and the email) he just didn't see me as a romantic interest..
  I only had to think for a few minutes as to how I was going to respond to his email.. This is what I said--that I had a great time too and that I am grateful that he is honest enough to tell me how he feels.. That I wish him the best in his search for someone special, his business, and in life.. That I appreciated some wonderful advise he gave me about a project I am working on (those who know me know I am always working on something..LOL) and the PS was-- although I wasn't thinking that I did anything wrong, I didn't want to walk away from this experience without asking for feedback/constructive criticism if there was something I could have done differently or improve upon..
  SO two really cool things have happened to me-- #1-- In my heart, even though he "rejected me" I didn't really feel rejected or that I had done anything wrong.. I just felt it wasn't a match and nothing more.. I didn't feel the typical reaction of wondering what was "wrong with me" as is so typical when you get turned down.. I didn't see the moon and stars with him either but that was neither here nor there-- don't we all deep down inside like it better mentally when WE do the rejecting instead of THEM? I just knew it wasn't a click for him (or me).. Sweet-- he was honest--what a pleasurable bonus for me..
  #2 and most important in my mind-- I ASKED FOR FEEDBACK--what a simple thing that I would never understood to be so powerful if I hadn't recently learned to start asking.. It scary the first few times you do it.. Most people don't even know how to respond-- who the hell ever asks for social feedback? His response was there was nothing I did wrong (which wasn't my question) and to stay exactly the way I am and that I would meet someone special real soon.. Damn-- I gotta tell you that last line read to me like a fortune cookie.. LOL
  So where does this leave you and I??  It leaves me wondering how do you take rejection in life?? Does it defeat or make you more determined?? Do you learn from it?? Do you think before you make a decision of how you will respond?? Have you ever stopped long enough to even think about it??
  Asking for feedback in the wake of rejection or a setback no matter what the setting is a very powerful thing and can help to project you further along the path of self awareness that you may choose to seek.. Its active participation in life and helps you shape the twists and turns of the path of your existence.. Next time you get rejected-- no matter what the circumstances-- an interview for a job, a date, a project you are working on, what ever-- ask yourself what can you learn from this?? How can changing your behavior/what you learned point you in a better direction?? Is there something that you could or would do better next time when you face the same situation and master it better?? Sometimes the answer is nothing-- it just isn't meant to be or not the right thing to happen in your life.. But just think how better off you will be knowing that you evaluated the situation, made necessary corrections if applicable, and asked for input from someone else's perspective about yourself


Tootles  :)
Heather