Greetings and Salutations,
So I am grappling with a new idea; new point of view; a new perspective I need to adopt, but not certain how to achieve the shift. I have long dismissed the notion that "love will find you when you least expect it". I will never let go of the personal belief that life is better spent with someone to share it with. How can you not feel the absence of the love of your life when you are alone?
My most recent, as in last week...fresh off the press, realization of one aspect of my life is that I sit around in waiting mode. When I go out on Friday or Saturday night... who I can meet that's interesting? In the back of my mind I say to myself "when I meet someone I will have a life. I'll have have someone to go places with. Travel, explore, and (in general) be active with". What am I waiting for?
I have to get off the couch. Self reflection time: basically my whole life I have not had many outside interests. Nothing to speak of. Yeah, I played church league soft ball in middle school. Between 2011-2013 I discovered volunteering. Specifically community runs. Giving medical support to The Cooper Bridge Run. Traffic support to the Avondale 5K Run. A silent auction to Cancers Below The Waist for MUSC. Giving medical support to a two day community free screening clinic. It was a niche I discovered and loved to do. I really miss it.
Since I relocated to San Francisco in April of 2014 I have volunteered my time for exactly nada. zip. nothing. That part for sure I must get back to. There are so many things to give my time to here. Maybe that is part of the problem. Too much to choose from. Sometimes too many choice makes you not able to settle on the right thing. Decision paralysis. I admit I am a current victim.
Back to center. How exactly does one "date themselves"? I think it is about taking advantage of my singleness. How I choose to spend my time is 100% up to me. People who are in committed relationships or have kids would kill for this "problem". This "challenge" as I see it. The irony doesn't go unnoticed with me. At least now it doesn't. The challenge is how do I work this to my advantage? Maybe this is the first step to over come. Unlimited choices is in and of itself challenging at best and overwhelming. I can do anything I want. ANYTHING. How does one narrow it down to make it manageable?
My answer honestly? I have no fucking idea. But I am totally game to the process of discovery. Current starting point: I want to do a pottery class. There are several companies locally that offer great classes. I've already started the hunt. #2 Today I stopped off at local soup kitchen that prepares food for shut-ins and the homeless close to my apartment. No office I could find, but a phone number posted on the window. I called and left a message. #3 As of this writing, I have Thursdays open and need to be filled. TBD. Tennis completes what's left over. Super happy with that. I really love tennis.
I think the bottom line is this. The premise of this blog is dating yourself while your patiently waiting. I believe dating myself is is code for just getting out there. REI camping trip over the weekend with a group. A hiking trek for the day. A cooking or knitting class. Filling an empty or better put open evenings with content that has relevance to my interests in life. Which is pretty much everything I just listed. Oh, and the symphony. Phantom of The Opera. I so miss that.
Maybe it's about distracting myself in a really fun way to be open to the opportunity for someone to cross my path when I'm not watching. Maybe that's what they mean. Its not about finding someone when you stop looking, but when you're not watching (for it). Somehow that seems like a shift in perspective I can understand and work with.
Tootles :)~
Heather
