Can You Spare Some Change?

Greetings and Salutations--
     I have been thinking alot lately about change and how it impacts us on an emotional level.. Recently I experienced a change at work that has lead to an amazing transformation of attitudes in both myself and my co-workers.. It was the smallest of change that we all figured would do nothing to resolve the issue of physical work space.. We were leery of  the change at first.. Putting up all the usual barriers "this isn't going to work" "this isn't going to change anything" "why can't we do this or that instead".. You know, the usual bitching and moaning about change.. Feeling like you have to jump through administrative hoops that will get you nowhere.. The concept of trying something before you can truly evaluate its efficacy was reinforced through this experience..  Even though in the long run something more will have to be done with the physical space that we all work in this was a great start.. It was change.. Moral was and still is the highest I have seen or felt since I started working in this department. We were resistant at first.. Deciding what would and would not work (in our heads) without physically trying it first.. Sometimes you just can't see the secondary gain(s) from trying something without doing just that, actually trying it..
     I also made an interesting observation while this change was going on.. I watched my co-workers and their reactions.. One was stressed out and another was stressed out that the other one was stressed out.. I removed myself from all of the emotion and realized that what co-worker (A) needed was to be left alone, know that she was stressed beyond her comfort zone, and she would be OK with time.. Co-worker (B) needed to realize and recognize these things about her fellow co-worker and most importantly to not OWN her co-workers EMOTIONS..
     So that made me step away from my work situation and relate it to my own world.. How many times do I get myself into trouble when I get into a lather because someone else is upset or pissed off? Why does it make us uncomfortable to let someone else's emotions stand alone without reacting to them? How do we not get uncomfortable if we don't share the same emotions as those around us in times of stress? Without owning someone else's feelings? So many times what truly works best in an emotionally charged environment is to give the other person space and do nothing.. Time gives perspective.. Maybe it is just human nature that makes it become infectious to feel the emotion of someone you share space with, either in the office or at home..
     How many times have we all ended up in a fight with someone because of their emotions that we took personally? How many times have I failed to give someone the space that they need to work through a situation on their own? Let them cool off from a bad day or simply recognized what they needed in that situation was different from what I would need and be comfortable in that difference.. Maybe just because someone I am around feels a particular way doesn't mean it has anything to do with me.. In the future I will work on evaluating a given situation in the context "Is his/her emotions/feelings something I need to own or not?"
     Change is something that brings out anxiety in most people.. Next time you are in an environment of change and things are getting stressful, take a moment to examine yourself and those around you.. What can you do to buffer the pain of change and ease into it with the best attitude as possible?


Tootles  :)
Heather

Mister Sandman...Bring Me a Dream.....

Greetings and Salutations--
     So I have been a bit blue as of lately.. I guess we all get that way from time to time.. I am a bit hard on myself-- OK--so I am super hard on myself but I have been trying to not give into the feelings that I want what I want when I want it-- IE a relationship and yesterday.. It isn't out of desperation or plain loneliness-- It is out of feeling like I am truly ready-- I wanna share my life..  And I feel that I am really ready for quite possibly the first time in my life.. To chose wisely and willingly.. To share not only my love and emotion with someone but to share my thoughts, ideas, and to grow with that person.. For someone else to share all those things with me.. I want to pay attention to the red flags this time and find someone with more green and yellow ones.. I truly believe that relationships overall can be wonderful and more positive than negative.. Work in a relationship doesn't scare me.. I feel like I have learned the difference between one step forward and two steps back vs when you work in the same general direction and actually make progress.. I trust the Universe will know when it feels I am truly ready and until then I will wait patiently (most days) with a smile  :)
      Sleep.. Adequate sleep is truly an amazing thing.. You read about it all the time and everyone knows how important it is.. Yet most of us are chronically sleep deprived.. I get ribbed often from my friends because I go to bed early.. I have been off and on the wagon of sleep and I have to tell you I have arrived at an absolute truth for me in the past few days (after being off the sleep wagon for some time now).. Sleep and enough of it will be priority one for me.. Since being alittle blue around the gills (sad) for the past few weeks I have noticed that my outlook has changed dramatically in the past 24 hours and all I have done is get a good nights rest and listen to my music.. Sleep gives you the mental strength to see things in a positive light..
      Lately I have been hard on myself because I have not been achieving the goals that I have set.. Not that I haven't been reaching some of them, alot of them.. But in my eyes not enough of them and I am still struggling on a few as I mentioned in last weeks blog that I feel I should have mastered by now.. I think it is a combination of a few things that has made me lighten up and ready to try another approach..
     As I blogged last week, I am mostly going to monitor my time management as I feel it is a very important foundation.. With proper time management I will be on the positive side of success with my endeavors more often and manage my life in keeping with the standards I have set for myself-- Lets face it-- living alone, with no kids, husband, or roommate to answer to-- time management is my albatross-- I have no one to answer to but myself and it is never a good thing when you ignore yourself too often as sometimes I do..
     Someone last week made a simple comment that they have been doing the M-F grind for 7 years and still don't manage their time as well as they would like.. I can't tell you how much better it made me feel that I wasn't alone.. It is such a simple, wonderful thing when you feel the burden of perceiving yourself as being alone in a thought, feeling, or idea to be lifted.. Even when intellectually you know the truth-- To be validated that you aren't alone is such a wonferful reason to be grateful.. Somehow that lighten the load in my mind.. Then I coupled that with making a decision to scrap my plans of staying up late Sunday night to try make myself feel better by getting stuff done I felt I should have done over the weekend.. I chose sleep instead..
     I have to tell you that I feel like a million bucks today and even though I have a million things "To Do" I have the mental stamina to know I will finish it all when I do and in the mean time I have kicked myself a lot less today than I have in awhile.. Sleep-- what a wonderful and grossly underestimated thing.. I plan to stick to my guns-- Bed time is bedtime and I will stop letting a great nights sleep get eroded away-- It isn't worth the price to get myself back inline.. When is the last time you got a weeks worth of great sleep?

Tootles :)
Heather

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

Greetings and Salutations--
     So each week I try and not really pre plan what I will blog about until either it hits me (ouch) along the way or when I sit down to the computer and just let it roll off my mind.. I want it to be natural and not feel contrived.. Today it hit me when I was at work-- I became aware of a few very VERY small changes I have made in the office..  I noticed that it made me feel as if I have made some progress-- Some change.. It gave me a better mental attitude to look at other things that are not where I would like them to be with renewed optimism --To feel with time those things can change as well..
     This made me think more centrally to my life and all the things I work on improving on a daily and weekly basis.. Somethings are coming to me quite easily while other things seem to be eluding me every day.. It made me think about altering my current strategy.. For the immediate moment-- Still working on a few things to keep at, but for a few weeks all I am going to concentrate on is my time management.. Currently that is my biggest albatross and it is a huge sucker!! I mean-- those are big birds but damn!! Anyway-- and I also plan to work on intermingling some of my smaller tasks and goals in with the larger ones to feel that sensation of success and even the secondary gain of how it can change your outlook overall.. Slow and steady really does win the race and I am in constant need of reminding myself of this.. I tend to go overboard with things that I see I want to change about myself or in the world around me.. I have to remind myself to be the turtle..
     It is funny what has come natural to me to turn my life in a direction consistent with my standards and expectations of who I am today.. My drive to make myself who I will be tomorrow.. It is a desire so strong I have no choice but to follow the path to where it leads me.. It is equally funny those basic habits that I feel I should have mastered by this point, yet I still struggle with to this day.. Working the Monday through Friday grind has proven to be one of the hardest.. It has really shown through how undisciplined I am about daily routine and consistency.. I have to tell you I SUCK at routine.. No matter how much part of my mind wants it-- the other part doesn't and fights it all the way kicking and screaming like a 2 year old.. I can assure you the half that likes the routine will prevail but it is very difficult to win myself over to myself!!
     This is where some of the smaller wins can add up to the bigger stuff-- which somehow seems kinda easy to me on some level-- I mean damn-- I can do what it takes to get a dedicated left turn signal up at an intersection-- but I can't pull off making breakfast every day of the week for 2 weeks straight in a row--  Really? I am willing to write a letter and try and gain financial support for a project from a major company but I can't keep my house picked up on a consistent basis-- Really? How is this so? I guess it is just part of who I am and I am learning to accept this about myself and work around it..
     Do you live your life to reflect your own standards? Have you ever thought about it in such a formal way? Are your choices in how you live your life congruent with the standards you set for yourself and those you choose to have in your life? If not-- What can you do to start to making positive changes and steer your life in a better direction? If you life was a silent movie would the audience get a sense of who you are by your unspoken actions or be confused?


Tootles :)
Heather

Momentum and Choices Make Obvious Bedfellows

Greetings and Salutations,
     So for the past few days I have been thinking about choices/decisions and the consequences that swiftly follow.. Sometimes we are dead-on with our choices in life and make great decisions.. Sometimes we couldn't be further off the mark if we tried.. I guess what I wonder is at what point to you start to respond differently to your poor choices and decisions in life and learn from your mistakes?  Do you just say "what the hell" and keep screwing up? Do you just stop making crappy decisions? Do you get enough of yourself and change what needs to be changed?  I even like the word choice of decisions better than "choices"-- It just seems intuitively more self directed.. Some would argue with me that in life we have very "few" choices.. I, of course, would argue that until I took my last breath and say that we have WAY more choices in life to make then not.. Another way I would play Devil's Advocate to the nay-Sayers  is this-- then make better "decisions".. You may not have a "choice" about some things in life but you sure as hell can decide how you will respond to it, deal with it, or work on getting over it, around it, or through it..
     So I was watching the Super Bowl last night-- I really wasn't all that engaged in it but I did pay attention to one thing.. Baltimore was kicking some west coast ass-- Came out strong and was scoring.. And then something unexpected happened-- The lights went out.. I knew immediately that this would change the polarity of the game.. It broke the momentum of Baltimore doing well and opened the door for San Francisco to take advantage of that gap in momentum.. Unfortunately for SF it wasn't enough to win-- But was it just me or did you see the marked change in how the game went after the lights came back on?
     So maybe this is the case more often that not in life that we can use momentum to our advantage or recognize it as a robber of our progress-- anything that changes our momentum.. Maybe it is a bad day.. Maybe it is an illness just when you were starting to go to the gym or exercise.. Maybe it is an unexpected bill just when you were starting to get ahead in your finances.. It can be any, all, and more of these.. You can't let this arrest your efforts.. You have to keep at what ever is before you that you are attempting to change in your life.. Anything you are attempting to improve.. Anything that you are trying to get more of that is better for you: sleep, well balanced meals, love, attention (getting or giving), or habits in general..
     Momentum is always something that will wax and wane when you are attempting to accomplish anything in life.. Be responsible for your actions.. Stop blaming the dog, cat, or any and everyone else.. Take responsibility for your life and your decisions.. This seems like a really easy no brainer first step.. It isn't.. I think as human beings its just a bit difficult to wrap your mind around "the buck stops with me"--period.. It is easier to say he makes me feel this way, or she did this and now look what I am stuck with doing.. The dog wouldn't have eaten your home work if you hadn't left it out where he had access to it.. You wouldn't have racked up $500 in parking tickets if you would have paid the first one off instead of letting it compound.. You wouldn't be late if you had left early and anticipated needing extra time to get to work or where ever you were going..
     Try today starting to take responsibility for everything that you do.. Try to seek out opportunities where you can build momentum in your life to head in the direction you desire.. Maybe you need to organize your house.. Maybe you need to de-clutter your life and belongings.. Maybe it is to get your finances in order and stop living paycheck to paycheck.. Maybe it is to go back to school and ultimately change your job.. Maybe you have always wanted to learn another language.. Its endless the things you can pursue, change, or master.. Just be sure that you are living your life to your fullest potential and putting in all you can so you can reap the rewards of your hard work and live a life you were put on this planet to live.. Make your decision wisely for time-- it is a wasting


Tootles  :)
Heather