Greetings and Salutations
Tonight as I pondered topics and what I was in the mood to write about, nothing was coming into focus.. Then It hit me just about the time I opened my beer (Lazy Magnolia Southern Pecan my new love.. yum).. How about my own report card.. How I am feeling about myself in direct relationship to all the changes and work I have been doing to the landscape of my life.. I usually write from a perspective as things I think about and challenging you and your thinking.. What if I told you how I thought I was doing and feeling about myself?
Well, for starters I can't impress upon you enough that you should check out Ted Talks.. It is some really rocking stuff.. When you Netflix it, all you have to do is search TED and save it (all of the episodes) to your instant que.. Watch it intermittently when you can.. Some of the "talks" are as short as Seven minutes.. Some are just over twenty minutes.. Its really strong, deep, awesome food for your brain.. Seriously check it out.. Even if you are only interested in opening your mind up just a "crack" this will help prime your brain for change in how you view your world..
So I am very hard on myself.. I have discovered that in my search for balance, I have created some new imbalance by not being patient to "feel" or "see" the fruits of my labor.. I am not just changing "things" about me.. Its about changing my lifestyle.. Its about changing my discipline.. Its about developing discipline in the first place.. Its about my choices.. Its about changing how I spend my time.. How I see the world.. How I see everyone I come into contact with, old and new.. What I see as possible in this world..
I actually don't really view it as changing things about me.. I feel it is finally expressing what I have felt was within me all along.. I just didn't have the skill set to harness it.. Humm, I never thought about it from this perspective.. This is where so much of my frustration is coming from.. The changes are happening from within first and at this time in my progress, not as outwardly tangible as I desire them to be.. Wow, I hadn't thought about it that way before this very moment.. Sweet--I like it :)
The things I am getting right? Lets see what I feel some of those things are.. I get so much better, consistent sleep than I used to.. I can see the difference that makes if I had made no other changes in my life.. More sleep equals more energy and a clearer mind.. I quit smoking.. The changes in that are many but most of all I quit something really hard with sheer determination.. I willed myself to stop and have stuck with it.. I am so very proud of that.. I quit partying so much.. That has had a domino effect: better sleep, less wasted days hung over, more energy, more time to pursue other interests, and just overall smarter to not waste my life in a bar.. It most of all taught me how to enjoy moderation.. I think that was one of the first lessons I taught myself..
I eat breakfast every day.. When ever I try to skip it now (and it happens, but very rarely) I pay for it by feeling sluggish and on fumes.. I eat what I feel is a great breakfast and I slimmed it down to the basics: no butter to prepare my egg, the thinnest slice of cheese to save calories but enjoy at the same time, 1/2 slice of ham for same reason, whole wheat bread to cut out enriched flour, cut out 1% of my milk (was drinking 2%), snuck in fruit with a banana and drink a small glass of Trop-50 OJ so I can save on carbs and sugars.. This meal was a process of looking at everything and cut where I could but still enjoy.. It started with the bread change from white, then 1% on milk, then cut out mayo on the sandwich, use Pam, etc.. I now have a breakfast I am proud of and I feel is healthy for me and something I can stick with..
I have been exercising.. Yoga, tennis, and bike riding.. Gotta find some cardio that I actually enjoy to add to the mix.. I really don't consider any of it exercise.. I am doing it to move.. To feel better by being off the couch.. To feel active.. To make (eventually) my muscles and bones not be so damn stiff.. To not feel like I am getting old.. To stop getting wider.. To have energy to burn because I actually create it in the first place..
Losing real weight will come when I put moving together with a total diet overhaul.. That is coming, but right now I am just concentrating on moving the day of and being able to move the day after LOL.. Every muscle in my body has been hurting for about two months.. This will pass ( I pray ) and I can't wait to see how I will feel in six months.. There are many, many other changes about me but less obvious and somewhat difficult to verbalize here and go beyond the scope and purpose of putting out a single blog..
Overall I would give myself about a B-.. I am an impatient person but I have to admit it is somewhat coming from the place of interest in myself to see just what I am made of.. You know, when you want to skip ahead in the book but don't? Will I outlast self doubts? Will I stay with it until the vision I have for myself comes to fruition or will I fall short? Its a morbid curiosity of myself.. Can I make lasting changes within myself stick? As one of my dearest friends reminded me yesterday when I felt so very overwhelmed with it all "just breathe" and so I did and I suddenly found the clouds of my brain cleared and I pressed on, making myself feel better as I continue to learn how to do.. Slow and steady wins the race
Tootles :)
Heather
Monday, July 29, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
TED...Its Worth Checking Out
Greetings and Salutations
I am sorry I haven't blogged in a few Monday's.. I have had quite a few things going on and not enough hours in the day to get it all done.. I have also been alittle short of creativity as of lately and I find it a real challenge to blog when I feel that way.. Having said that disclaimer, here goes nothing LOL.. Tonight I want to turn you onto something I think is really cool, and this doesn't require reading :) Check out TED Talks.. I found it on Netflix.. You can also find it at TED.com.. Its twenty minutes worth of food for thought from all types of presenters from Bill Clinton to Malcolm Gladwell (one of the dudes on my book list).. My sister actually mentioned it to me months and months ago, but it didn't find me until just about a week ago..
Alot of the presentations are very much along the lines of the thoughts I express in my blog and so very much inline with the reading and teachings I am learning for a positive belief system and the science that goes with it.. It gives you tools and teaches you lessons to rewire your brain from the perspective where most of us learned to come from (negative or it can't be done) to anything is possible and the research that has gone into breaking myths of how powerful your thoughts and perspective about the world around you can be.. About how important the way in which you process the information you receive has to do with your overall outlook on life.. It teaches concepts that really can flip your world onto itself and help you to live a life of hopefulness not hopelessness.. Of happiness and success, not stress and failures.. To switch your default to a positive view, not a negative one..
So last weekend I had a great birthday celebration and was very grateful to celebrate it with some wonderful friends.. Wanna know what was underneath the surface? Missing my Mom.. This first year of "firsts" is every bit of the challenge that I suspected it would be.. Somehow once again, I thought I could circumnavigate the emotions of missing my Mom as deeply as I do by trying to ignore my feelings.. The hole I feel of course comes from this first time in my life of not getting a "Happy Birthday" from my Mom.. Next year the sting will be less.. I look forward to that.. I can't even type the concept of her name without tearing up.. I can't talk to anyone about it because there is really nothing to say.. Its been just over three months since she died.. I have to let the tears flow when they do.. I have to just let the intensity of the feeling sink in and wait for it to pass like a storm.. And pass it will.. I know I have to continue to learn how to comfort myself and let the passage of time heal me as well.. Overall I'm doing great in that department..
So I say that to help myself see my thoughts on "paper" so to speak.. Somehow that makes me feel better.. That even though at this moment my heart and soul is heavy, I keep as positive an outlook as possible.. Life really is so much in how you frame what happens to you and around you.. What lessons you choose to walk away with.. Being positive and seeing possibility in life and situations doesn't mean bad things don't happen.. It doesn't mean you don't get sad, mad, make bad choices, or get depressed.. It means when those things happen you do your best to see the good in everything you can and deal with the bad with the best attitude possible, not the worst.. So far, after all I have been reading and learning, there is real science to all of this.. I find this really cool and an endless source of research for me.. For example, have you ever heard of Post Traumatic Growth? I have never heard of it until one of the TED presentations. It is the other end of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).. Google it.. Very interesting stuff I think..
A friend of mine the other day called me and said "I've been reading your posts on Facebook.. Whats up all the sudden with so much exercise? Mid-life crisis? (laughing) I've never known you to do any of this, ever".. My response: "Are you kidding? I've been praying and waiting for this all of my life" and left it at that.. What I wanted to do was point out how non-supportive and kinda (actually) hurtful his comments were to me.. While I know he didn't mean any harm I want encouragement and support not laughter or doubt in my abilities.. I understand the comments for what they are.. His limitations of himself.. His skepticism of something new to him.. It is much easier and familiar to put something down than raise it up so it will hurt less when it fails, as we suspect 90% of what we (and those around us) will try-- right?? (wrong)
We limit not only ourselves with our thoughts, but those around us as well.. When you change how you see the world and your relationship to it you will no longer process information this way.. You will choose to see the good in almost everything and the bad will be automatically filtered out.. It won't take effort to see the good in people and things.. It will take effort to see the bad.. You will have a "can do anything you put your mind to" attitude.. Next time you open your mouth in response to what someone is attempting in their life, make sure you aren't picturing yourself in their shoes and assuming that if you can't do it neither can they.. Adopt the "anything is possible " attitude without any footnotes of doubt and watch what happens..
Tootles :)
Heather
I am sorry I haven't blogged in a few Monday's.. I have had quite a few things going on and not enough hours in the day to get it all done.. I have also been alittle short of creativity as of lately and I find it a real challenge to blog when I feel that way.. Having said that disclaimer, here goes nothing LOL.. Tonight I want to turn you onto something I think is really cool, and this doesn't require reading :) Check out TED Talks.. I found it on Netflix.. You can also find it at TED.com.. Its twenty minutes worth of food for thought from all types of presenters from Bill Clinton to Malcolm Gladwell (one of the dudes on my book list).. My sister actually mentioned it to me months and months ago, but it didn't find me until just about a week ago..
Alot of the presentations are very much along the lines of the thoughts I express in my blog and so very much inline with the reading and teachings I am learning for a positive belief system and the science that goes with it.. It gives you tools and teaches you lessons to rewire your brain from the perspective where most of us learned to come from (negative or it can't be done) to anything is possible and the research that has gone into breaking myths of how powerful your thoughts and perspective about the world around you can be.. About how important the way in which you process the information you receive has to do with your overall outlook on life.. It teaches concepts that really can flip your world onto itself and help you to live a life of hopefulness not hopelessness.. Of happiness and success, not stress and failures.. To switch your default to a positive view, not a negative one..
So last weekend I had a great birthday celebration and was very grateful to celebrate it with some wonderful friends.. Wanna know what was underneath the surface? Missing my Mom.. This first year of "firsts" is every bit of the challenge that I suspected it would be.. Somehow once again, I thought I could circumnavigate the emotions of missing my Mom as deeply as I do by trying to ignore my feelings.. The hole I feel of course comes from this first time in my life of not getting a "Happy Birthday" from my Mom.. Next year the sting will be less.. I look forward to that.. I can't even type the concept of her name without tearing up.. I can't talk to anyone about it because there is really nothing to say.. Its been just over three months since she died.. I have to let the tears flow when they do.. I have to just let the intensity of the feeling sink in and wait for it to pass like a storm.. And pass it will.. I know I have to continue to learn how to comfort myself and let the passage of time heal me as well.. Overall I'm doing great in that department..
So I say that to help myself see my thoughts on "paper" so to speak.. Somehow that makes me feel better.. That even though at this moment my heart and soul is heavy, I keep as positive an outlook as possible.. Life really is so much in how you frame what happens to you and around you.. What lessons you choose to walk away with.. Being positive and seeing possibility in life and situations doesn't mean bad things don't happen.. It doesn't mean you don't get sad, mad, make bad choices, or get depressed.. It means when those things happen you do your best to see the good in everything you can and deal with the bad with the best attitude possible, not the worst.. So far, after all I have been reading and learning, there is real science to all of this.. I find this really cool and an endless source of research for me.. For example, have you ever heard of Post Traumatic Growth? I have never heard of it until one of the TED presentations. It is the other end of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).. Google it.. Very interesting stuff I think..
A friend of mine the other day called me and said "I've been reading your posts on Facebook.. Whats up all the sudden with so much exercise? Mid-life crisis? (laughing) I've never known you to do any of this, ever".. My response: "Are you kidding? I've been praying and waiting for this all of my life" and left it at that.. What I wanted to do was point out how non-supportive and kinda (actually) hurtful his comments were to me.. While I know he didn't mean any harm I want encouragement and support not laughter or doubt in my abilities.. I understand the comments for what they are.. His limitations of himself.. His skepticism of something new to him.. It is much easier and familiar to put something down than raise it up so it will hurt less when it fails, as we suspect 90% of what we (and those around us) will try-- right?? (wrong)
We limit not only ourselves with our thoughts, but those around us as well.. When you change how you see the world and your relationship to it you will no longer process information this way.. You will choose to see the good in almost everything and the bad will be automatically filtered out.. It won't take effort to see the good in people and things.. It will take effort to see the bad.. You will have a "can do anything you put your mind to" attitude.. Next time you open your mouth in response to what someone is attempting in their life, make sure you aren't picturing yourself in their shoes and assuming that if you can't do it neither can they.. Adopt the "anything is possible " attitude without any footnotes of doubt and watch what happens..
Tootles :)
Heather
Thursday, July 11, 2013
I'll Be Damned..I've Been Bitten Again.....
Greetings and Salutations
Good Morning.. Interesting that I have discovered that I use my time more efficiently when I blog in the morning and edit when I get home.. I love discovery and stumbled over this little victory a few weeks ago when I blogged on a Monday morning by accident.. Now, enough with that and on to the meat and potatoes of what's knockin' around in my head today.. I have officially been bitten by the exercise bug.. I can't believe it has finally gotten around to finding me after all these years.. I thought it most likely would never happen.. I have to report how this is making me feel.. How breakthroughs truly are about persistence.. No time line is required.. It is about personal sweat equity of staying with a thought or dream until it happens..
I have never been an outdoorsy type person.. I have never been a sports person.. I have never been an exercise person.. I have always wished that I was all three of these.. I have dreamt many times over that this would be a natural thing within me that I would exercise multiple times a week and that I would miss it if I wasn't doing it.. That it would be incorporated into my daily/weekly routine the same as sleeping, eating, working, and breathing.. That I would enjoy the outdoors like I observed with other people.. It started with getting back into tennis (yoga actually but that is another blog).. Oh how I really love to play that game.. I have been playing a few times a week with a friend for the past month or so.. I also found a court with a backboard and I think more about that backboard than I do about men (OK.. almost as much) LOL.. I am beyond excited that I have found a way to participate in an activity that doesn't require having someone to play with me.. I'm ready for a part time job so I can play every day.. I am ready to pitch a tent beside the court so I can roll out of bed and play first thing in the morning.. How wonderful it is to feel that passionate about anything in life..
I have been thinking about getting a bike to lap around Hampton Park for a few weeks.. Can you believe that I just discovered that park existed only this past year? What can I say.. I hardly ever went on that side of the Crosstown and while I did go around the park a few times, I never looked beyond the trees before me.. Saturday I became the proud owner of "Virginia" my new hot pink mountain bike.. Those of you who know me personally can hear me say her name in my mock British accent Vir-GIN-ya LOL.. I can't believe that I am the proud owner of a bike.. I biked Six miles that day.. Three miles and took a breather.. Then three more.. Sunday I biked six miles before I took a break. Then four more.. Sixteen miles in two days and I lived not only to tell about it, but could walk the next day.. I almost peed my panties that I didn't need traction for a week :)~ So now I have yoga, acupuncture, tennis, and biking on my mind every day.. Who am I? If I wasn't watching myself grow I would have trouble recognizing myself.. How awesome is that?
So here is the bottom line of my thoughts about making changes, pursuing anything you are after, or wanting to add something into your life that at the present moment doesn't exist no matter how small or large.. I read alot of books and so many of them are spot on but this is where I think most fall short of the real message.. There IS no time frame of when you can mark down an attempt as a failure or success for that matter.. When you want something bad enough you will find a way.. When it is a personal success you'll know it and all the failures will no longer matter.. You are working on it even when you make no physical steps towards you goal.. Half the battle is to get it into your head and think about it over and over.. As long as what ever you are after is in your soul you will find a way.. It might take one week.. It might take three months or Six.. It might take a year or more.. Just no matter what, keep at it in your mind and it will find a way to manifest itself in your life.. I can't stress that enough.. Forget about the calendar.. Just keep the object of your desire in your minds eye and be patient.. Make every baby step you can.. Bigger ones will come along the way.. It will happen if you stick with it I promise..
I am to the point of two awesome decisions that I never thought I would hear come out of my mouth.. First I want to run a 5K within the next year.. I want to say six months but I'm chicken to.. I can't run more than about three minutes as I type.. Second, I am going to get up at 530 am so can make more time to exercise.. Holy shit-- who is this girl typing this? I am happy beyond what I could ever express to another human being.. It just gets better and better.. Cheers to your own journey..
Tootles :)
Heather
Good Morning.. Interesting that I have discovered that I use my time more efficiently when I blog in the morning and edit when I get home.. I love discovery and stumbled over this little victory a few weeks ago when I blogged on a Monday morning by accident.. Now, enough with that and on to the meat and potatoes of what's knockin' around in my head today.. I have officially been bitten by the exercise bug.. I can't believe it has finally gotten around to finding me after all these years.. I thought it most likely would never happen.. I have to report how this is making me feel.. How breakthroughs truly are about persistence.. No time line is required.. It is about personal sweat equity of staying with a thought or dream until it happens..
I have never been an outdoorsy type person.. I have never been a sports person.. I have never been an exercise person.. I have always wished that I was all three of these.. I have dreamt many times over that this would be a natural thing within me that I would exercise multiple times a week and that I would miss it if I wasn't doing it.. That it would be incorporated into my daily/weekly routine the same as sleeping, eating, working, and breathing.. That I would enjoy the outdoors like I observed with other people.. It started with getting back into tennis (yoga actually but that is another blog).. Oh how I really love to play that game.. I have been playing a few times a week with a friend for the past month or so.. I also found a court with a backboard and I think more about that backboard than I do about men (OK.. almost as much) LOL.. I am beyond excited that I have found a way to participate in an activity that doesn't require having someone to play with me.. I'm ready for a part time job so I can play every day.. I am ready to pitch a tent beside the court so I can roll out of bed and play first thing in the morning.. How wonderful it is to feel that passionate about anything in life..
I have been thinking about getting a bike to lap around Hampton Park for a few weeks.. Can you believe that I just discovered that park existed only this past year? What can I say.. I hardly ever went on that side of the Crosstown and while I did go around the park a few times, I never looked beyond the trees before me.. Saturday I became the proud owner of "Virginia" my new hot pink mountain bike.. Those of you who know me personally can hear me say her name in my mock British accent Vir-GIN-ya LOL.. I can't believe that I am the proud owner of a bike.. I biked Six miles that day.. Three miles and took a breather.. Then three more.. Sunday I biked six miles before I took a break. Then four more.. Sixteen miles in two days and I lived not only to tell about it, but could walk the next day.. I almost peed my panties that I didn't need traction for a week :)~ So now I have yoga, acupuncture, tennis, and biking on my mind every day.. Who am I? If I wasn't watching myself grow I would have trouble recognizing myself.. How awesome is that?
So here is the bottom line of my thoughts about making changes, pursuing anything you are after, or wanting to add something into your life that at the present moment doesn't exist no matter how small or large.. I read alot of books and so many of them are spot on but this is where I think most fall short of the real message.. There IS no time frame of when you can mark down an attempt as a failure or success for that matter.. When you want something bad enough you will find a way.. When it is a personal success you'll know it and all the failures will no longer matter.. You are working on it even when you make no physical steps towards you goal.. Half the battle is to get it into your head and think about it over and over.. As long as what ever you are after is in your soul you will find a way.. It might take one week.. It might take three months or Six.. It might take a year or more.. Just no matter what, keep at it in your mind and it will find a way to manifest itself in your life.. I can't stress that enough.. Forget about the calendar.. Just keep the object of your desire in your minds eye and be patient.. Make every baby step you can.. Bigger ones will come along the way.. It will happen if you stick with it I promise..
I am to the point of two awesome decisions that I never thought I would hear come out of my mouth.. First I want to run a 5K within the next year.. I want to say six months but I'm chicken to.. I can't run more than about three minutes as I type.. Second, I am going to get up at 530 am so can make more time to exercise.. Holy shit-- who is this girl typing this? I am happy beyond what I could ever express to another human being.. It just gets better and better.. Cheers to your own journey..
Tootles :)
Heather
Monday, July 1, 2013
My Vacation Report
Greetings and Salutations
Hope your weekend was fantastic.. I just got back from a 7 day vacation.. I would have loved to report to you that it rocked, but it actually fell alittle short and missed the mark.. It feels much like when you have a meal that was good but "didn't quite hit the spot".. The image I had in my head of what I needed unfortunately never came into focused fruition..
I do feel rested and have to say it was nice to wake up every morning at 0900.. It was great to get out of town.. I read 600 pages out of my book.. I enjoyed hanging out with my friend that was able to come for most of the days I was there.. It just lacked the visual beauty and the "some something" that I was in need of.. It has been more than five years since I have been off the continental US and on a vacation that I have planned.. I want the vacations of my travel days to meet the woman I am today.. Now THAT will be a holiday I can't wait to have.. Maybe getting off the road also got me out of the mindset and zone I was in when I traveled.. After all aren't all things a matter of habits? The habit to never go on vacation and the habit to vacation often? The lessons I learned from this near hit of a vacation are several and I will carry them forward to the next one that I am already mentally planning..
What are some of those lessons? I was ready to get out of the country.. I should have listened to myself.. I still had cellphone coverage (first sign you didn't get far enough away), I didn't need to exchange my money, and I could easily speak English.. Oh yeah, and perhaps the most important thing is that I never needed my passport.. Doesn't get any more disappointing than that.. Absolutely no disrespect to Puerto Rico, but it just wasn't the place for me.. I knew this intuitively yet I chose to ignore it.. My need to get away over-road my ability to put off the trip and save more money to have more distant destination choices.. I need to learn to truly trust my instincts when it comes to places I am interested in visiting.. I know myself better than I think I do sometimes..
While I don't think of myself as a hotel snot, apparently as you get older (for me) I am requiring a level of sophistication that I have never desired until now.. I am talking about hotel land somewhere between The Four Seasons and Motel Six.. I like fluffy bedding and a room that has great karma and a happy vibe... I love a garden tub that I can "swim" in atleast daily.. One of my favorite ways to relax is in a nice hot, deep, bubble bath.. In the dark surrounded with candles, my favorite music, and a glass of wine in my hand..
I need to have a beautiful view out of my window with a balcony.. Mountains covered in trees serving as a backdrop to beautiful blue waters or in a bustling city with people moving about in their daily lives while I observe a moment in time I am taking a break from.. I want to perch in a comfee chair on that balcony while sipping morning coffee or an evening cocktail while being enveloped with sights and sounds my environment.. To soak up my surroundings like a piece of bread and let the moments infuse into my bones and soul.. Feel the warm breeze on my skin and through my hair.. You know, where you close your eyes and feel the moment caress you.. For me, I guess the surroundings of where I live, even temporarily, have a deeper impact on me then I have ever recognized.. This is a new lesson I have learned about myself that I must incorporate into my vacations and never deny myself from a wonderful hotel in the perfect location ever again..
I want a body massage in a cabana on the beach by a really hot masseuse.. I want to do yoga on the beach at sunrise and sunset.. I want someone to personally show me the sights and cool places without only being in a group.. I want to hangout in a really cool bar with a warm ambiance and meet awesome local people that make me laugh and feel special to have crossed paths with them.. I want to incorporate those experiences into my soul when I feel gratitude and awe that I am living that moment.. I want to go to bed early and wake up early.. I want to take in the local music scene.. I want to feel every endorphin in my body as I am wrapped in the moment and never want it to stop.. See every sunrise and sunset..
So at the end of the day did my vacation suck? It wasn't all bad.. I will use my fresh experience to move forward and plan a vacation that suits who I have become today.. I feel focused and have my eye on the ball of my life that I am making for myself.. Loose ends are coming together and I am obtaining new stride with the rhythm of my life.. Focus--that is the best gift this vacation could give me.. Knowing that I will have another chance to get it right on my next holiday makes my current reflection "all good in the hood" so to speak.. My ultimate goal would be to share it with someone special.. Funny, what if I planned a couples vacation and found someone along the way? Maybe planning one alone keeps it that way.. Then I could blog about all the places I would like to have sex...oh wait...that would be a different kind of blog
Tootles :)
Heather
Hope your weekend was fantastic.. I just got back from a 7 day vacation.. I would have loved to report to you that it rocked, but it actually fell alittle short and missed the mark.. It feels much like when you have a meal that was good but "didn't quite hit the spot".. The image I had in my head of what I needed unfortunately never came into focused fruition..
I do feel rested and have to say it was nice to wake up every morning at 0900.. It was great to get out of town.. I read 600 pages out of my book.. I enjoyed hanging out with my friend that was able to come for most of the days I was there.. It just lacked the visual beauty and the "some something" that I was in need of.. It has been more than five years since I have been off the continental US and on a vacation that I have planned.. I want the vacations of my travel days to meet the woman I am today.. Now THAT will be a holiday I can't wait to have.. Maybe getting off the road also got me out of the mindset and zone I was in when I traveled.. After all aren't all things a matter of habits? The habit to never go on vacation and the habit to vacation often? The lessons I learned from this near hit of a vacation are several and I will carry them forward to the next one that I am already mentally planning..
What are some of those lessons? I was ready to get out of the country.. I should have listened to myself.. I still had cellphone coverage (first sign you didn't get far enough away), I didn't need to exchange my money, and I could easily speak English.. Oh yeah, and perhaps the most important thing is that I never needed my passport.. Doesn't get any more disappointing than that.. Absolutely no disrespect to Puerto Rico, but it just wasn't the place for me.. I knew this intuitively yet I chose to ignore it.. My need to get away over-road my ability to put off the trip and save more money to have more distant destination choices.. I need to learn to truly trust my instincts when it comes to places I am interested in visiting.. I know myself better than I think I do sometimes..
While I don't think of myself as a hotel snot, apparently as you get older (for me) I am requiring a level of sophistication that I have never desired until now.. I am talking about hotel land somewhere between The Four Seasons and Motel Six.. I like fluffy bedding and a room that has great karma and a happy vibe... I love a garden tub that I can "swim" in atleast daily.. One of my favorite ways to relax is in a nice hot, deep, bubble bath.. In the dark surrounded with candles, my favorite music, and a glass of wine in my hand..
I need to have a beautiful view out of my window with a balcony.. Mountains covered in trees serving as a backdrop to beautiful blue waters or in a bustling city with people moving about in their daily lives while I observe a moment in time I am taking a break from.. I want to perch in a comfee chair on that balcony while sipping morning coffee or an evening cocktail while being enveloped with sights and sounds my environment.. To soak up my surroundings like a piece of bread and let the moments infuse into my bones and soul.. Feel the warm breeze on my skin and through my hair.. You know, where you close your eyes and feel the moment caress you.. For me, I guess the surroundings of where I live, even temporarily, have a deeper impact on me then I have ever recognized.. This is a new lesson I have learned about myself that I must incorporate into my vacations and never deny myself from a wonderful hotel in the perfect location ever again..
I want a body massage in a cabana on the beach by a really hot masseuse.. I want to do yoga on the beach at sunrise and sunset.. I want someone to personally show me the sights and cool places without only being in a group.. I want to hangout in a really cool bar with a warm ambiance and meet awesome local people that make me laugh and feel special to have crossed paths with them.. I want to incorporate those experiences into my soul when I feel gratitude and awe that I am living that moment.. I want to go to bed early and wake up early.. I want to take in the local music scene.. I want to feel every endorphin in my body as I am wrapped in the moment and never want it to stop.. See every sunrise and sunset..
So at the end of the day did my vacation suck? It wasn't all bad.. I will use my fresh experience to move forward and plan a vacation that suits who I have become today.. I feel focused and have my eye on the ball of my life that I am making for myself.. Loose ends are coming together and I am obtaining new stride with the rhythm of my life.. Focus--that is the best gift this vacation could give me.. Knowing that I will have another chance to get it right on my next holiday makes my current reflection "all good in the hood" so to speak.. My ultimate goal would be to share it with someone special.. Funny, what if I planned a couples vacation and found someone along the way? Maybe planning one alone keeps it that way.. Then I could blog about all the places I would like to have sex...oh wait...that would be a different kind of blog
Tootles :)
Heather
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