Greetings and Salutations
Tonight as I pondered topics and what I was in the mood to write about, nothing was coming into focus.. Then It hit me just about the time I opened my beer (Lazy Magnolia Southern Pecan my new love.. yum).. How about my own report card.. How I am feeling about myself in direct relationship to all the changes and work I have been doing to the landscape of my life.. I usually write from a perspective as things I think about and challenging you and your thinking.. What if I told you how I thought I was doing and feeling about myself?
Well, for starters I can't impress upon you enough that you should check out Ted Talks.. It is some really rocking stuff.. When you Netflix it, all you have to do is search TED and save it (all of the episodes) to your instant que.. Watch it intermittently when you can.. Some of the "talks" are as short as Seven minutes.. Some are just over twenty minutes.. Its really strong, deep, awesome food for your brain.. Seriously check it out.. Even if you are only interested in opening your mind up just a "crack" this will help prime your brain for change in how you view your world..
So I am very hard on myself.. I have discovered that in my search for balance, I have created some new imbalance by not being patient to "feel" or "see" the fruits of my labor.. I am not just changing "things" about me.. Its about changing my lifestyle.. Its about changing my discipline.. Its about developing discipline in the first place.. Its about my choices.. Its about changing how I spend my time.. How I see the world.. How I see everyone I come into contact with, old and new.. What I see as possible in this world..
I actually don't really view it as changing things about me.. I feel it is finally expressing what I have felt was within me all along.. I just didn't have the skill set to harness it.. Humm, I never thought about it from this perspective.. This is where so much of my frustration is coming from.. The changes are happening from within first and at this time in my progress, not as outwardly tangible as I desire them to be.. Wow, I hadn't thought about it that way before this very moment.. Sweet--I like it :)
The things I am getting right? Lets see what I feel some of those things are.. I get so much better, consistent sleep than I used to.. I can see the difference that makes if I had made no other changes in my life.. More sleep equals more energy and a clearer mind.. I quit smoking.. The changes in that are many but most of all I quit something really hard with sheer determination.. I willed myself to stop and have stuck with it.. I am so very proud of that.. I quit partying so much.. That has had a domino effect: better sleep, less wasted days hung over, more energy, more time to pursue other interests, and just overall smarter to not waste my life in a bar.. It most of all taught me how to enjoy moderation.. I think that was one of the first lessons I taught myself..
I eat breakfast every day.. When ever I try to skip it now (and it happens, but very rarely) I pay for it by feeling sluggish and on fumes.. I eat what I feel is a great breakfast and I slimmed it down to the basics: no butter to prepare my egg, the thinnest slice of cheese to save calories but enjoy at the same time, 1/2 slice of ham for same reason, whole wheat bread to cut out enriched flour, cut out 1% of my milk (was drinking 2%), snuck in fruit with a banana and drink a small glass of Trop-50 OJ so I can save on carbs and sugars.. This meal was a process of looking at everything and cut where I could but still enjoy.. It started with the bread change from white, then 1% on milk, then cut out mayo on the sandwich, use Pam, etc.. I now have a breakfast I am proud of and I feel is healthy for me and something I can stick with..
I have been exercising.. Yoga, tennis, and bike riding.. Gotta find some cardio that I actually enjoy to add to the mix.. I really don't consider any of it exercise.. I am doing it to move.. To feel better by being off the couch.. To feel active.. To make (eventually) my muscles and bones not be so damn stiff.. To not feel like I am getting old.. To stop getting wider.. To have energy to burn because I actually create it in the first place..
Losing real weight will come when I put moving together with a total diet overhaul.. That is coming, but right now I am just concentrating on moving the day of and being able to move the day after LOL.. Every muscle in my body has been hurting for about two months.. This will pass ( I pray ) and I can't wait to see how I will feel in six months.. There are many, many other changes about me but less obvious and somewhat difficult to verbalize here and go beyond the scope and purpose of putting out a single blog..
Overall I would give myself about a B-.. I am an impatient person but I have to admit it is somewhat coming from the place of interest in myself to see just what I am made of.. You know, when you want to skip ahead in the book but don't? Will I outlast self doubts? Will I stay with it until the vision I have for myself comes to fruition or will I fall short? Its a morbid curiosity of myself.. Can I make lasting changes within myself stick? As one of my dearest friends reminded me yesterday when I felt so very overwhelmed with it all "just breathe" and so I did and I suddenly found the clouds of my brain cleared and I pressed on, making myself feel better as I continue to learn how to do.. Slow and steady wins the race
Tootles :)
Heather
No comments:
Post a Comment