Better Make It a Good Knot When You Tie It

Greetings and Salutations--
     Well--remember when I mentioned that I sometimes get moody? well-- I think I have a case of the droopy drawers and while I plan on it to be only a temporary impediment-- I have the grump-a-lumps so I will roll with it :)
     Where are we with the solutions to the world's problems?  I know-- How to keep inspiration when you feel down or blue.. Honestly I wish that I had the clear cut answer to that.. All I can lean back on is the flat out refusal to give up and know that there are some days that you are just going to feel like the world is against you or just plain out sad.. In times like these I always think of a poster that was on the wall of a guidance counselor's office in the 7th grade-- There was a picture of a monkey hanging on a length of rope with the caption reading:  "When you get to the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on".. I knew immediately that was something worth remembering and that one day it would give me solace.. Over the years I have pictured that poster almost subconsciously when I feel like giving up or in and it has helped me to hang on until the storm passed..
      These days when I feel sad or depressed I just keep reading, keep a stiff upper lip, and work even harder at my effort in shaping my life.. I know tomorrow is a new start and that I will see what ever is troubling me through and to the other side where I feel happy no matter how long it takes.. Conditioning your mind takes alot of hard work and there are dips and peaks along the way.. I guess that is all part of the journey and I want to appreciate it all for what it is.. Experiencing the wonderful times and learning how to take the lumps with more stride and knowledge to know that truly this too shall pass and happy days are going to come back again..
     This is not the forum that I care to delve into how I feel about my job but suffice to say that overall I have not completely found my niche overall professionally.. I am super grateful I have a job--don't get me wrong.. I am speaking of job fulfillment and I currently lack being well rounded at that arena.. Maybe in today's economy I am not supposed to dream of a job that I really love and feel fulfilled in.. Maybe those are thoughts of days gone by but I refuse to believe that..
     I have twenty three years or so of work ahead of me (oh good Lord help me) and I have to have believe in something that will be fulfilling.. The idea of going through the motions of a job for the next few decades makes my severely swimmy headed and gaseous.. I just read a wonderful book by Malcolm Gladwell and this is what he had to say that I can't get out of my head: "Autonomy, complexity, and a connection between effort and reward are three qualities that work needs to have to be satisfying"-- I gotta say that makes me scratch my head just a bit -- How many people feel totally trapped in their jobs? In their life?
     Maybe that isn't the best way to explain why I am on this path or how I feel about it-- I feel like I have finally woken up and no longer want to wait for life to happen to me or unfold just as it would without touching it.. I want to make life happen to me in the reverse order as in me happen to my life-- not life happen to me.. It is somewhat of a difficult concept to explain..
     It isn't about control. It is about not wanting to sit by and respond to life but to actively participate in MY life.. As in to be stuck in a job you dislike and not be empowered to find one that you love.. As in to be stuck in a relationship you hate and not make your own way out.. As in to be stuck in no relationship without actively seeking a partner and putting yourself out there.. As in anything you can think of that you are in one place in your life but yet wish to be in another-- physically, mentally, and or spiritually.. I no longer wish to sit by and wait for something to change at an unaltered pace.. I want to actively create my life in as many ways as possible..
      I think that is what sometimes overwhelms me--it isn't the temporary sad feelings I may have from time to time.. Its is often I have no idea how I will pull off most of the ideas that constantly bounce around in my noggin-- when I stop and think "how the hell am I gonna pull this off?"  A year ago I would have already given up.. Now I have learned (and still learning) better skills at quieting my mind of dis-empowering thoughts and turn up the volume of all the empowering ones.. Most days this works-- some days it does not..      
     What do you do when you get blue? What do you do when you get negative? Do you see life over all as good or bad? Do you think it will get better or do you know it will get better? How much in your life do you feel you have control over? Have you ever tried to make waves in your own life first before life can do it for you?  Do you tie a knot and hang on or simply keep slipping further and further down the rope?

Tootles :)
Heather