Filled With Gratitude

Greetings and Salutations,
     Gratitude. What does it mean to you? Does it mean "thank you" "thanks" "that's nice" or something deeper? Is it a prayer, some form of Karma, or bullshit? Have you ever really spent any time thinking about it? Is it different from being thankful? I have never given this thought much time until recently. How recently? Well, I'm not really sure. Let's just say within the past year. It seems more and more I have been giving this some attention and I am loving it. I like how I feel when I spend time "in gratitude" mode. Even in times of challenge.
     True gratitude is something that once you discover it you want to share it with everyone you can. Like along the lines of shouting from a mountain top. But you can't. It is something that is a personal discovery and journey that expresses itself individually. My wish for you is in discussion of this topic you will start your own journey. Your own thoughts as to what gratitude means to you and really explore it within yourself. Gratitude doesn't have to be complex. It could be as simple as gratitude for the wind. A warm day. Someone sharing their love with you.
     A recent experience I had. I was feeling an unexpected wave of grief and sadness for the loss of mom. Like enough I wanted to pull the curtains and stay in my cave of a bedroom all day. Despite my better judgement I reported for work anyway. I had a patient mid-morning that I intuitively knew I could share how I was feeling. It was appropriate and professional, but human. She was genuinely interested in my thoughts and feelings. I helped her with her procedure and she helped me see a different prospective on mom's death and how I am continuing to process it.  In the end she gave me a really great heart felt hug-- a rub between the shoulder blades, Like a mom would do. It was my destiny to take care of her. She took care of me. I will forever be grateful for showing up that day at work.
     I guess part of my message is if you are so consumed with all that is wrong in your life you can't even begin to see the good. Adjusting your picture takes time. It has to be something you WANT. With out that first step it's no good. You can't get it. Not without Wanting it first. Gratitude is the silver lining. I never knew that. Actually until I just typed it. You have to want to see the good. You have to be willing to believe in something you can't feel at first. Faith that it will follow. The warmth of gratitude, You have to be willing to put a foot forward not seeing where it will land, but believing it will.
     I meet someone. I have no idea where it might go. That isn't even the point. I so feel in the Here and Now I am just grateful he gave me the gift of a random spark, Palatable and undeniable, I felt it the moment I sat down beside him and looked into his eyes. No matter what I welcome the gifts he has to share with me. His thoughts and perspective in life for how ever long our paths stay crossed. He reminds me that chemistry is real and alive. I am reminds me how random life is.
     Tonight I am so happy. Tonight I celebrate. I'm alone. I am torturing my neighbors with my loud music. But I celebrate gratitude for what I have been blessed with. I was so moved I had to blog about it, I wish you the spark to start your own journey down the gratitude road. Have faith in what you can't see at first if this is a new concept for you. Start a gratitude journald. Write in it as often as you can, It doesn't matter how simple or how often. Sad or happy. Find one thing a day to be grateful for and write it down. Watch it build. Jump. Faith will catch you. Dare to see more good than bad in any situation.

Tootles :)
Heather